Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
