The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
