Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
