I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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