Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Panties = found
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
