One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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