READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
