You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize