just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
