Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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