just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
