Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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