Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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