It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
