How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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