weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I accidentally burped into my bong.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
