i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
It's rum buckets o'clock
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
