I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
