Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
