lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
