yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize