sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
foreskin is a definite game changer
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
