I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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