My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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