Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Randomize
