Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
