What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize