do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
This is classic penis vs brain.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
