so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
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