I just gift wrapped bread.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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