dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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