but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
