we're blogging at a bar
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
