i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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