I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
