we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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