Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
