i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
