Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
