they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
