I hope mine doesn't look like that
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize