elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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