Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
