Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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