I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i need to put some appletini on your dick
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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