I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
