I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
