at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
