going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
