evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We need to get me chipped asap
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
