I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
