I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Drunk is a universal language darling
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
