last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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