If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
