Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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