It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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