the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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