Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
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