My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
