just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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