Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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