I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
