He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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