Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
