Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
