i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
time to smoke my breakfast
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
