I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
