Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize