Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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