im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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