I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
