with your own penis?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
