it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
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