It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
