And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish you could order shots online.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
