barbara walters just said penis...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Boobs speak an international language.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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