Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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