Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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