I am puke
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
